8 Self Care Ideas for Single Moms
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Self-care for Christian women is sometimes frowned upon in some circles, but it is so vital we understand self care for women, especially self care for christian single moms! Below you’ll find my list of Self Care Ideas.
Self care for christian single moms is important, after all, raising kids alone is exhausting! If you’re a single mom, chances are you’re more drained than most parents. You have far more responsibilities and far less time to yourself. It can be hard to squeeze in that much needed self-care, but you’ll be drained (or worse) without it.
These self-care tips for moms are geared towards Christian single moms. That means you’ll only see realistic tips on this list. Self-care isn’t just about bath bombs and spa days – it’s about taking care of yourself so that you can get what needs to be done
List of Self Care Ideas for Christian Single Moms
1. Make time with God a Priority
What do you do when you’re feeling overwhelmed, lonely, sad, guilt-ridden, or angry? Where do you turn to take the edge off the pain? When single moms have not taken the time to properly manage their self care, it’s easy to let things fall out of priority, emotions run high and chaos comes running. While it “feels” good to try to fill our needs with other things: TV, another relationship, excessive eating, drinking, shopping because it dulls the pain temporarily, when it wears off, the discomfort is twice what it was at the beginning. The only answer in filling that empty void, the overwhelm feeling, is pressing into your relationship with Jesus Christ. He alone is the one who can calm the storm, give you peace, direction, strength and wisdom to get throughout this journey of Single Motherhood. Rotate reading the Bible and praying. Make this time with God a priority!
2. Delegate Tasks to Your Kids
No mother is superwoman – we just can’t do it all. Part of self care is delegating tasks. Assign your children age-appropriate chores to cut back on the amount of work you have to do. Of course, this isn’t possible if your oldest child is an infant, but even a toddler can help out by putting away their toys after they’re done playing. Parenting expert Jim Fay and University of Maryland psychology professor Roger W. McIntire offer advice for delegating chores to children as young as 2 years old. Grab your FREE printable chore chart!
FREE Printable Chore Chart
Have your children tidy up their own rooms. If they’re old enough and capable, you can even have them clean up an infant’s room. Teach middle schoolers how to vacuum and how to feed their pets. Make your kids separate their own laundry to save you time. If they’re old enough, they can even fold their own clothes when the laundry is done. The more your children help out, the more time you’ll to get other things done, and we know that every spare minute as a single mom is precious.
I’m a single mom and my kids are 14 and 10 years old. My 14 year old loads and unloads the dishwasher, cleans the counter, stove top and microwave plus keeps her room clean. My 10 year old is responsible for sweeping/vacuuming all the floors, gathering and taking out the trash and of course keeping his room clean. Then on occasion, I’ll have them clean out the car or do other random tasks that need to be done.
3. Ask for Help
It’s okay to ask for help, especially from other parents who know your situation. Asking for help doesn’t have to involve asking for huge favors from other people. It can be as easy as asking another parent to host a playdate with your child, so you can go grocery shopping or run other errands. You can also ask friends to bring your kids to school so you can go to doctors’ appointments and other obligations. Keep a list of friends and family who can help you out in case you get sick – once you’re ill, you need all the rest you can get!
I’m fortunate to have my parents close by who don’t mind watching my kids on short notice so I can run an errand without them, if needed, but to be honest they usually come with me. But, it is nice to have babysitters for much needed girls night out or something similar.
Single Parenting Self Care
4. Don’t Take On More Responsibilities
You’re a single mom – you already do twice the amount of work as the average parent. You don’t have to be the Girl Scout “cookie mom” or your son’s baseball coach on top of that. Let a parent with more time on their hands handle these tasks. It’s okay to say NO to extra responsibilities! The last thing you need is more responsibilities to juggle an already full plate!
If other parents have an issue with this, you can kindly explain to them that as a single parent, your hands are already full. Perhaps you can compromise by taking on a small task like bringing some pre-made items for a bake sale or be put on rotation to bring snacks for the team. Dollar Tree and Walmart are great options for getting lots of snacks for cheap! Even Amazon has deals on food items with competitive prices.
5. Take Advantage of Alone Time
Self-care is about maintaining your stability, refilling your own bucket so your can pour into others, more than it’s about indulging yourself. That being said, if you get the rare opportunity to be alone, indulge! If your kids are at school and you completed a few chores, take a break and relax with a bath bomb or a good book. You don’t need to complete all of your chores and errands on the same day, anyway. So when you have a rare moment of free time, grab that cup of coffee, good book or favorite movie, take a nap or soak in a bubble bath. Better yet, call up a good friend and ask her to get coffee or lunch with you. But, before any of this, make time with God a priority. If you aren’t getting in that quiet time with God on a daily basis, you’ll run on empty all the time.
6. Practice Biblical Affirmation and Daily Gratitude
There’s something to be grateful for every day, even on your hardest days. Write down (or simply think about) 3 things you’re grateful for every night to remind yourself that even when it seems like everything is going wrong, there’s at least one thing going well. Don’t judge yourself for what you’re grateful for – this is for you and no one else. To make this exercise easier, you can pick up a gratitude journal here.
Similarly, start off your day by writing down or thinking about a daily biblical affirmation. In other words, give yourself some positive feedback, reminding yourself who you are because of Christ and what He has done for you. Once again, don’t judge yourself! Remember our feeling are a gauge, not a guide.
Much is Required Of Single Mothers
7. It’s Okay to Say “No”
We all have to say “no” to someone or something from time to time. Sometimes, it’s telling your children that unfortunately, you can’t bring them to the mall on short notice because there’s too much going on. Other times, it’s telling your church or school’s PTA that you can’t volunteer at their event. If you can work out a compromise, do so, but you’re by no means obligated to. Don’t let others take advantage of your kindness when you already have enough to worry about. This also includes telling ourselves no. No to that new outfit, car, vacation or whatever and you’ll simply have to plan and save the money to pay for it in cash.
8. See a Therapist or Counselor
Seeing a therapist in person is more feasible for some moms than others. Seeing a therapist in person requires someone to watch your kids (or for them to be in an after-school activity), mental health insurance, and a way to get there and back. On the other hand, online therapy options are just as useful, but eliminate these complications.
There are quite a few options available for online therapy, including Better Help, Talkspace, and don’t forget to ask your pastor and/or your women’s ministry leader if they can talk you through some things. Explore all of your options to decide which one is best for you.
9. Practice Self Care for Single Parents
I think there are three areas that need care under the self care topic.
Spiritual life, physical life, and emotional life.
There is the daily upkeep of eating right, exercising regularly, sleeping enough, doing stuff just for fun and refilling from the Living Water, daily quiet time with God. But there is also the need to be alone, to separate ourselves from the daily ministry of our lives and take extended time to rejuvenate with the Lord.
Setting healthy boundaries for ourselves, our personal and business lives and our children’s lives is so vital.
Final Thoughts on Self Care for Christian Single Moms
As women, we are gravely depleted and worn out because we absorb trauma, relational discord, financial stress, and the loads of worry when raising children.
All too often, we simply don’t nourish ourselves with restorative habits to counterbalance the difficult things we experience.
While it may not be practical for you to set aside hours out of your day to focus on only yourself (nor should you), there are a lot of small steps you can start taking as you have the time.
Remember, you can’t keep pouring out all your energy and resources without taking the time to refill them!
It’s easy to neglect ourselves for our kids and working those extra hours to make ends meet, but we can’t be our best selves without self-care. It’s not selfish to take the steps to take care of yourself, since you won’t have energy to invest in others if you have none to invest in yourself. Remember, you cant be a successful single mom without self-care!
What self care ideas do you have for christian single moms? What works for you in renewing, reenergizing and refocusing to be a successful single mom?
Where does the weary soul find rest and relief from its stress? Jesus says,
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28–30)
Examples of some healthy self care goals:
- I won’t skip any meals today, even if I have to grab something small.
- Sunday night, I will sit down to look at my calendar and plan healthy meals.
- I will go for a walk Tuesday and Thursday during my lunch break.
- I will go to bed by 11 pm so that I will wake up rested.
- I will journal at least 3 times this week.
- I will ask my friends for a good counselor recommendation.
What are some of your self care tips for single moms?