Control Freaks – How to Trust God

Are you a control freak and struggle with fully trusting God? Be encouraged as you take the uncomfortable baby steps to let go and trust God.

What Does The Bible Say About Being A Control Freak

The Bible advises against trying to control everything and instead encourages us to trust God’s plan.

It warns that the urge to control can come from a lack of trust, fear, or pride.

Key verses include Proverbs 3:5-6 about trusting God and James 4:6, which says God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

The Bible’s takeaway? Let go and let God take the reins.

Here are some key principles:

1. Lack of Trust in God: Trying to control everything can be a sign that we’re not fully trusting God. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
2. Struggle with Fear and Anxiety: Control issues can stem from fear and anxiety, and the Bible reminds us that God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear but of power, love, and self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7).
3. Pride: Sometimes the need to control stems from a place of pride, thinking we know better. James 4:6 reminds us that “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
4. Seek First God’s Kingdom: Matthew 6:33 encourages us to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all other things will be added. This implies releasing control and trusting God to provide.
5. Let Go and Let God: Sometimes we need to step back and let God work. The Psalmist reminds us to “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).
6. Love Over Control: In relationships, love should be the driving force rather than control. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking…”
7. Fruit of the Spirit: Galatians 5:22-23 outlines the fruit of the Spirit, which includes patience, kindness, and self-control. When we exhibit these qualities, it often means relinquishing our own need to control situations or people.

So, if you find yourself struggling with control issues, the Bible offers a pretty clear roadmap for change.

It encourages us to surrender our need for control to God, lean into trust, and cultivate a spirit of love and humility.

What Does The Bible Say About Control Issues

Accept the love of God.
“To break free from the bondage of control freakage takes a revelation of the love of God.

Those who fear will have no more reason to do so, as “perfect love casts out fear” (1st John 4:18).

Those who’ve had their hearts filled to overflowing with God’s love have no desire to dominate or control others, as it will hurt them.

Those who’ve seen the suffering savior and have been pierced with the greatness of His free gift of love have little want to exalt themselves.

Those who have been head Christians now come alive with heart-filled grace and love.

And, especially, when Jesus heals the hurting with a touch of His kindness, it sets them free from all that has tormented them.” –Road To Grace

Who Was A Control Freak In The Bible

Here’s a quick list of people in the Bible who struggled with control issues, complete with Bible verses for context:

1. King Saul
   • Bible Verses: 1 Samuel 18:8-11, 1 Samuel 19:9-10
   • Meaning: Saul becomes consumed with jealousy towards David and tries to kill him multiple times to maintain control over his kingdom.
2. Pharaoh of Egypt
   • Bible Verses: Exodus 7:14-25, Exodus 8:15, Exodus 9:34-35
   • Meaning: Pharaoh refuses to let the Israelites go, ignoring God’s signs and wonders, in an attempt to maintain control over his workforce.
3. Jonah
   • Bible Verses: Jonah 1:1-3, Jonah 4:1-3
   • Meaning: Jonah tries to run away from God’s command to preach to Nineveh, wanting to control who deserves God’s forgiveness.

Each of these individuals demonstrates the pitfalls of wanting to control situations or people.

The Bible uses their stories to remind us of the importance of surrendering control to God and trusting in His plan.

How Do You Deal With A Controlling Person Biblically

Dealing with a controlling person can be really tough, can’t it? But the good news is, the Bible offers some great wisdom on how to handle this kind of situation.

Here are some Biblical principles you might find helpful:

1. Pray for Wisdom: The first step is to seek God’s guidance. James 1:5 tells us that if we lack wisdom, we should ask God, who gives generously.
2. Set Boundaries: Proverbs 4:23 advises us to guard our hearts. Setting healthy boundaries helps protect you emotionally and spiritually.
3. Speak the Truth in Love: Ephesians 4:15 encourages us to speak the truth in love. You might need to have a gentle but honest conversation with the controlling person about how you feel.
4. Seek Godly Counsel: Sometimes you might need a different perspective. Proverbs 11:14 tells us that there’s wisdom in seeking counsel.
5. Practice Humility but also Assertiveness: Philippians 2:3 says to consider others above yourself, but this doesn’t mean becoming a doormat. Christ was humble, yet assertive.
6. Turn to Scripture for Strength: Equip yourself with the Word of God (Ephesians 6:10-17) to stand firm in times of challenge.
7. Extend Grace but Don’t Enable: It’s important to be forgiving (Colossians 3:13), but forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing the controlling behavior to continue.
8. If Necessary, Create Distance: Sometimes you might have to distance yourself from the person causing harm, as Paul advises in Romans 16:17 to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles.
9. Pray for Them: Lastly, remember Matthew 5:44, which tells us to pray for those who mistreat us. It’s not just good for them; it’s healing for you, too.

Remember, while it’s important to be loving and forgiving, that doesn’t mean you should endure manipulation or control.

Trust God, and take the steps you feel led to take to protect your well-being while exhibiting Christ-like love and grace.

This is a guest post from my friend Ally from thespeckledgoat.com.

Control Freak

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. 

I’m a bit of a control freak.

Okay, maybe that’s not much of a secret… it’s actually pretty obvious.

I mean, I made the majority of the decorations for my wedding myself (because I wanted them the way I wanted them!), I regularly have my assistant go back over things and redo her work if it doesn’t meet my standards, I work better by myself, and I rarely ask for help.

It’s not always a great thing. 

Lack Of Trust When You Are A Control Freak

Controlling everything stems from a lack of trust. 

Trusting people is hard. People are fallible, disappointing, forgetful, imperfect. And when they let us down, it’s hard to trust again. 

But the lack of trust in my life doesn’t just apply to human beings. It also extends to my relationship with God. 


It’s taken me a while (and some difficult situations) to really understand that my trust in my Creator is often superficial at best. God has shown me, in the past few years in particular, just how little I actually trust Him.

I still somehow believe that my plans are better than His. That if God would just get with my program and follow my agenda, everything would be fine. 

Trusting that He knows best for me? It’s difficult for me and I fight against it- hard.

Maybe you’re in that place right now. That fighting place. That un-trusting place. Maybe God’s using something painful or challenging or scary to show you just how much you need Him after all. Maybe He’s breaking you and making you vulnerable to Him alone.

I’m there. I’m still working through all of this stuff, honestly- both in trusting people and also in trusting God. But when it comes to putting my trust where it truly belongs, I’ve learned a couple of things I can do that help me to give up my control.

How To Trust God When You Are A Control Freak

Recognizing Blessings

This has been a big one for me. Simply finding and recognizing all of the incredible gifts around me, and recording those blessings helps me to see God’s goodness in my life. Giving thanks makes a difference. Not only does counting my blessings put me in the right frame of mind and set my attitude straight, but it also reminds me of how good God is to me- and why I can trust Him for good in my life.

Remembering His Faithfulness

We’ve all got situations in our lives when we thought, “There’s no way I can get through this,” or “Nothing good can come of this,” but God redeemed them for our good. He’s been faithful to us in the past- and He will be faithful to us now. Lamentations 3:19-23 says:

Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me.

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

When things are hard, when a situation looks hopeless, when our souls are bowed down within us, we need to remember His goodness. I reflect on God’s goodness and redemption in my own life, as well as in the lives of people around me. I read my Bible and see how God was faithful. “Calling to mind” God’s steadfast love helps me to remember that God’s been trustworthy before, and I can trust Him now.

Remaining in Prayer

When You Are A Control Freak

Despite my very best efforts, I still have trouble trusting God sometimes. It’s almost an unconscious thing. I hold myself back, sometimes without realizing it, from truly being open and vulnerable to His will for me. I’m too human- can’t completely trust God by my own power. That’s where the prayer comes in. I try to remain in prayer as much as possible throughout my day.

When a situation out of my control pops up at work, I say a quick, “God, I know You’ve got this. Help me to trust You.” 

When I’m afraid: “God, I trust You, even in the scary things. Help me.” 

When I feel the ache that comes from God’s plans being so different from my own: “God, You know best for me. Help me to trust in Your perfect plan.”

It’s only when we truly put our trust where it belongs- in God who is always good, is always worthy, and is always redeeming us- that we can truly be free to live how He wants us to live. Let’s say a quick prayer:

God, we know that You know best for us… but it’s so hard to let go of control. We know that You have a plan, a perfect one, for each of our lives. We know that You redeem our mistakes and all those hard situations and use them for good. We know it. But God, it’s so hard to live out sometimes. Please be with us, help us to keep digging deeper, opening our clenched, controlling hands, and our hard and stony hearts to You more each day. Thank You for being always good, and always worthy of our trust

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Ally loves coffee, motorcycles, blogging, and Jesus (not in that order, although coffee is toward the top of her list). An accidental country girl, Ally often finds herself wondering how she ended up on