Forgiving with out an Apology
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What are the Biblical benefits of forgiveness? In life, relationships can be messy. There can be so much pain when we allow the bitterness of un-forgiveness to creep into our hearts. Some may be lighter offenses and at other times it can be an offense so great that the pain runs deep. A pain that only God can heal.
When we find ourselves in the position of needing to ask for forgiveness from someone; quickly and sincerely offer an apology. Not only from our spouse, but from God. It hurts God when we hurt each other.
In 1 John 1:9, it tells us that when we seek forgiveness of our sins, God is faithful to forgive us and cleanse us of them. I don’t know about you, but I need to humble myself daily before God and seek His forgiveness and guidance.
In marriage, if your spouse is quick to be humble and apologize than count yourself as being blessed!
However, there may be a time when your spouse doesn’t apologize for something he has done against you. No matter what the offense. Being a simple, silly offense like eating that last chocolate chip cookie knowing all to well that you claimed that cookie, you touched it, licked it, wrote your name on it and he still ate it! hahaha Or a deeper, greater offense that would bring your marriage to it’s knees and riddled with so much hurt that only God can save.
Sometimes forgiving someone is hard. If the pain is deep, I understand it’s not so easy and it must be a process not an event .
Bible Verses on Forgiveness
We are ALL sinners so therefore we should forgive because we want God to forgive us.
Matthew 6:14-15 KJV
“For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. “
Colossians 3:13 KJV
“Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
In Matthew 18:15, the bible tells us that if someone has sinned against us to go and talk about it with them. I also know that if the offense is huge, sometimes that confrontation or conversation is so hard and it may be easier to forgive and stay at a distance until God leads you to initiate restoration. Setting healthy boundaries is necessary.
Biblical Benefits of Forgiveness
Forgiveness helps us to be more like Christ.
Forgiveness brings us closer to God.
Forgiveness is at the core of emotional well being.
Remember the parable Jesus told in Matthew 18:23-35? Basically it’s telling of a certain king who had a servant that was in debt to him and the servant could not pay. The servant was released from his debt to the king. The forgiven servant had a fellow-servant that owed him money, but he would not forgive his fellow-servant from his debt. When the king heard of his un-forgiveness, the king was angry and punished him. We must forgive because Christ forgave us.
Holding on to the hurt and pain will only hinder us from true healing. Un-forgiveness can put a wedge between us and the true inner healing God has for us. It puts a wall up between us and God.
Forgiveness is not condoning the bad behavior. It is not forgetting what has happened. It is not restoring trust to the offender. It is not doing that person a favor nor is it easy. Forgiveness is a process.
Forgiving someone even if they haven’t apologized is about your freedom, your spiritual life, trusting God, and your responsibility to move forward.
Knowing who you are in Christ is so important in forgiving others. Their sin is about them. It doesn’t label who you are. Remind yourself who you are in Christ. It’s so important to your healing through this great pain.
Also forgiving doesn’t mean you trust them again. No, it means you are stepping out and trusting God!
We forgive because God has forgiven us.
Luke 23:24 KJV “Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.”
So, ladies, I want to encourage you to let go and give to God any un-forgiveness you may hold in your hearts so that you may have that true inner healing from Him.