How To Forgive Someone – Practical Steps
Do you know how to forgive someone? Is it just me? People throw around the “just forgive” phrase and I am still sitting there asking how as they walked away. Completely stumped. I know I’m supposed to forgive; the real-life steps on how to forgive was beyond me.
There are practical steps and prayer to forgive others that we as Christians should take into consideration when needing to forgive others and when instructing others to forgive.
How To Forgive Someone
The weight of the deep pain is hard enough, but covering others with guilt and shame, because they are struggling to forgive, is another level of sadness.
Like me, perhaps, they don’t truly understand the process of forgiving.
I needed details. I needed practical instructions on what the process of forgiving looks like and what the steps are to accomplish this to honor God.
What are the steps of forgiveness?
From my experience, studying, counseling sessions, and praying – here are the steps I’ve put into place that have been pivotal to me and I hope they help you.
Steps on How to Forgive Someone
Step One: Pray. Realize you can not muster up the strength and will power on your own to forgive someone that has so ever deeply cut into your soul.
You can’t. It’s going before God, humble, crying out saying you know you are suppose to forgive, but are overcome with pain and anger and you NEED God’s help in forgiving this person.
A process of lamenting. Telling God of the heartache, pain, betrayal and saying see this God. This pain. It hurts deeply. Never stuffing or sucking it up, but taking your pain to God and weeping over it.
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-15
Step Two: Prayer To Forgive
In prayer, release this person and situation to God. For example pray: God, I release “_______” from the pain they have caused me. The whole situation and everyone involved. I give them over to you. I forgive them for “______”. I forgive “______” for “________”. (verbally speak out their name and that you forgive them and what you forgive them from.) Please forgive me for holding any bitterness in my heart towards this person and this matter. In the name of Jesus, I pray, AMEN. Ephesians 4:31
Step Three: EVERYDAY FORGIVE. Choose to forgive.
This one was key for me. There is no such thing as only having to work on forgiveness, one time, on this one day. It is an everyday practice. That is vital here.
Everyday you must choose to forgive this person. Every time the enemy brings up the hurt, pain, and bad memory you go before God with your prayer for help and forgiveness. Repeatedly. Over and over. Day after day. Moment after moment. Back it up with scripture too.
Find bible verses about forgiveness, guarding your thoughts, your thoughts lead your feelings, and remind yourself how much God loves and cares for you.
Memorize the scriptures on forgiveness so that you may recall them on the bad days when the pain hurts deeper than most.
Yes, every day, you go before God, and with a contrite heart share with Him the pain and release it to Him. Release the situation and the person. Verbally speaking out your prayer.
There is not a timeline of how quickly your healing will happen. Some will heal quickly and others not so quickly.
And that’s ok.
As long as your heart is right before the Lord, contrite, humble, and no bitterness, it is okay.
“Has not my hand made all these things, and so they came into being?” declares the LORD. “These are the ones I look on with favor: those who are humble and contrite in spirit, and who tremble at my word.” Isaiah 66:2
Remembering that God is near the brokenhearted Psalm 34:18.
When I was able to grasp this truth, forgiveness didn’t seem so far fetched and I was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I share my steps to forgiveness with you only in hopes that this helps those of you that are like me in needing practical steps in place to be able to work on honoring God in forgiving others.
It’s hard when someone cuts us deep into our soul. Please know that God sees, He cares and you can be free from the pain, un-forgiveness, and bitterness.
How do you forgive someone who has hurt you emotionally?
Here’s how to forgive someone who hurt you emotionally.
- Pray first. Ask God to help you heal.
- Don’t rush or force it. When someone hurts you, allow yourself to feel the emotions.
- Understand why you need to let go.
- Live in the present.
- Set heathy boundaries.
- Don’t take things personally.
- Let go of your expectations.
- Learn from the experience.
Completing the Steps to Forgiveness
One day you will wake up and find yourself thinking differently about the one who hurt you. You may never like or trust this person, but the intensity of your hurt will diminish. One day you will find yourself praying for your offender. Soon you will realize you are free. Forgiveness is the road to freedom. But it makes little sense unless seen in the context of Christ’s forgiveness toward you. – Stuart Rothberg
Practical Steps To Forgiveness
Here are some practical steps you can take to forgive someone who has hurt you deeply:
- Acknowledge your pain and emotions It’s important to acknowledge the pain and emotions you are feeling as a result of the hurt. Allow yourself to feel them, but don’t let them consume you.
- Choose to forgive Forgiveness is a choice you must make. Choose to extend forgiveness to the person who has hurt you, even if you don’t feel like it.
- Pray for the person who has hurt you Pray for the person who has hurt you, asking God to bless and guide them. This can help you to let go of anger and bitterness, and to see the person with compassion and grace.
- Set boundaries Setting healthy boundaries is important when forgiving someone who has hurt you deeply. Communicate clearly and honestly with the person about what you are and are not willing to accept.
- Release your expectations Release your expectations of how the person should respond to your forgiveness. Forgiveness is about letting go of control and trusting in God’s plan.
- Focus on the present Let go of the past and focus on the present. Don’t let the hurt and pain define you, but rather seek to move forward with hope and grace.
Remember, forgiveness is a journey and it takes time. Don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t happen overnight. Keep taking steps towards forgiveness, seeking God’s guidance and strength along the way.
Devotional On Forgiveness
This 7-day devotional on forgiveness is a transformative journey of grace, humility, and healing. Through daily scripture readings and reflections, you’ll discover the power of forgiveness to bring freedom, restoration, and peace to your life and relationships.
Join us on this journey of forgiveness and experience the transformative power of God’s love. This is a 23 page printable.
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Forgiving Without An Apology – In life, relationships can be messy. There can be so much pain when we allow the bitterness of un-forgiveness to creep into our hearts. Some may be lighter offenses and at other times it can be an offense so great that the pain runs deep. A pain that only God can heal. Forgiving is hard, let along forgiving without an apology.
Praying for Those That Hurt You – God doesn’t want us to take revenge, hate, nor return the hurt towards those that have scarred our hearts. And equally, He doesn’t want us holding onto the pain and letting it fester inside us and allowing it to turn into bitterness.
Bible Verses on Forgiveness – Do you have a favorite Bible Verse on Forgiveness? How do you forgive when the pain runs so deep it catches your breath? Or when the mention of the person who caused you pain sends your heart in a race of fear or raging in anger? Let’s go over some practical steps and Bible verses on forgiveness that have helped me and still help me to this day.
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